Dancing at My Desk

I’ve Been Quiet Lately

I don’t just mean in terms of blogging (because that’s such an old topic for me to blog about and quite frankly I’m tired of pointing out the obvious fact that I don’t blog as much as I want to). I mean in general.

I’m not entirely certain why. It’s just kind of been a fact of life for me lately. I’ve been spending a lot of time just sitting. And thinking. And wondering. And thinking some more.

But I’m not sure what has grabbed my attention the past few weeks.

Do you ever times like that? Times when silence just seems so much more preferable than noise? When a quiet night on the couch is better than running out to yet another commitment? I don’t know. It’s probably just a time for me to reflect.

But, just like the last few times I’ve been through this, it feels like something more is coming.

Something bigger. Something deeper. Something…. more.

But I can’t quite put my finger on it.

I’ve been thinking about my family, my career, my passions in life. I’ve been reflecting on my goals and how I can never seem to get them all done. But I’ve also thought about how far I’ve come in life. How much I have done in the past few years. And how much more I’m capable of doing in the next few years to come.

It’s just one of those times I guess and writing has always been my companion through each and every one. So here I am with my laptop, trying to make sense of the noise in my head as I eliminate some of the unnecessary noise in everyday life. As I sift through my obligations and decide which ones I need and which ones I don’t.

And above all, just trying to make sense of it all.

But the good news is, it doesn’t have to make sense. Not right now. I just have to be open to whatever opportunities come my way and have the ability to decipher between what I need and what I don’t. What’s best for my family and what isn’t.

And to figure out what I want.

So what do I want? In the past couple weeks I’ve at least figured out these two things:

1. I want to stop procrastinating on those personal things that mean a lot to me (Thank you Crystal for sending me the link to this amazing post by the Bloggess and putting things in perspective).

2. I want to live each day to the fullest, even if it doesn’t always go according to plan.

So, at least I’ve identified those two things. Because if nothing else, it’s a start. And you can’t do anything or go anywhere if you don’t at least start.