Dancing at My Desk

I’ve been so fortunate to be able to attend Blogher 2009 today in Chicago. I’m sitting in my hotel room now with millions of thoughts whirring through my brain and it’s tough to keep up. This is a familiar place for me. It always happens when I meet other people (women in particular) who love blogging as much as I do. It’s a place where I’m most likely to come up with great ideas and actually carry those ideas to fruition.

Perhaps you know the place that I’m talking about. It’s an intersection called Inspiration and Motivation. I’m so there.

The toughest part about being at this place? Deciding what to do first. I’m a list person. And I have enough material pumping through me that I could fill up an entire notebook of ideas, task lists, items to tackle, people to reach out to and general ideas that I need to build out a bit more.

Some people hate this place. It’s too overwhelming. And I’ll be the first to admit that after I went downstairs and signed in for the conference, I came back up to my room and had to CONVINCE myself to go back down. So many bloggers and so little confidence meant I was a bit hesitant. But I can’t tell you how awesome it is when someone asks about your blog and when you tell them what it is they exclaim “I loved your post about (fill in the blank).” Wow. There’s not many other words for it.

So it’s time to get off my duff and get busy. And if you’ll excuse me, I have some lists and action plans to create.

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Many of you know that last year I walked in the Breast Cancer 3 Day with my mom in Cleveland. It was truly one of the most amazing experiences of my life. You can read all about my journey on my positive blog. Well, I’m doing it again. But maybe you don’t know why I am doing it. So here is my story.

In September of 2001, I received a phone call from my mom while a senior in college. The words “I have breast cancer” completely rocked my world. My mom, who is in so many ways my hero, was ill. I wanted to fall apart, but my mom wouldn’t let me. She says the same thing about us, but it was her inner strength that kept all of us going.

At the time, there was a lot of knowledge in the world about Breast Cancer and what could happen, both good and bad. But with events like this, I now feel like I can add to the good column. I can do something amazing that I honestly didn’t think I could do and help others in the progress. I am not the hero. I am simply someone who wants to make a difference, even a small one.

Just like with breast cancer, it’s not about starting and it’s not even about finishing. It’s about doing it once and then getting up the next day and doing it again. And we all can do it, one step at a time.

But I can’t take this journey alone. Yes, I can walk the 60 miles alone, but I need help to make it the whole way. I’m asking for people from everywhere to donate to my walk. My goal is to raise $3,000 that will benefit both breast cancer patients and their families. I know the money will help not only people like my mom and my aunt who went through treatment for the disease, but their families who watched them go through it.

My dear friend at Bella Strada Studios has generously offered to donate 20% of all the proceeds from sales of her Flying Wish Paper to my walk between now and July 15th. When you checkout, be sure to use the code “3Day” to make sure your donation is counted. You can also donate directly through my fundraising page.

Thank you so much for all you have done so far and all that I know you will do to help make this world a healthier place.

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Ever feel like you’re in an Abbott and Costello routine? I do. All the time. Because my daughter loves to ask tough questions that run me in circles.

Here is a perfect example:

Her: Mom, what does what mean?

Me (not having heard her clearly): What?

Her: Yes.

Me: Huh? What does what mean?

Her: Yes.

Me: Honey, what word did you say?

Her: What.

Me: What word did you say?

Her: What.

Me: Honey, I don’t understand. What does what mean?

Her: Yes (getting frustrated).

Me: Repeat your question

Her: What question?

Me: The question about the word.

Her: What?

Me: What word do you want me to tell you about?

Her: What.

Me: What word do you want me to tell you about?

** A full 10 minutes later.**

Me: You want me to tell you what the word “what” means?

Her: Yes.

Me: I have no idea. (Turning to husband) Can you define that?

Him: What?

Her: Yes.

And the whole thing repeats itself because I personally think it’s hilarious and I refuse to step in and clarify. Because I’m diabolical like that. So I decide to educate my daughter.

Me: This feels like an Abbott and Costello routine.

Her: What?

Me: Exactly.

Her: What?

Me: Trust me kiddo. I’m going to blog about this and when you have kids of your own, you’ll read this and think it’s hilarious.

Her: What?

Me: Exactly.

She gives up and walks away shaking her head. She’s officially convinced her mother is crazy.

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Today’s 10 on Tuesday post: 10 Celebrities I’m Tired Of:

1. Jon (of Jon & Kate Plus Eight)
2. Kate (of Jon & Kate Plus Eight)
3. Octo-Mom
4. Paula Abdul
5. Jonas Brothers
6. Spencer Pratt
7. Lauren Conrad
8. TomKat
9. Lindsay Lohan
10. Heidi Montag

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Yesterday, my husband asked if I wanted to take the kids fishing. At first, I wasn’t really up to it. I had just spent five days in Virginia visiting my parents and the day in my hometown for my cousin’s wedding. In total, I had driven more than 22 hours in seven days. I wasn’t up for another car trip.

But I caved. Because the fishing poles we got the kids were too cute.

So off we went. I am not the type of person who is inclined to go fishing. At all. I’ve been twice before and I’ve never caught anything. So I’m not exactly the type of person who gets all “woo hoo” about fishing.

My husband picked a spot that had a lot of blue gill. Apparently, these fish are the easiest to catch. And he was right. My daughter caught 11 fish and my son caught 8. They had a blast. They lasted more than two hours fishing (I had my money on 20 minutes, so I would have lost that bet).

Isaac's First Fish

Veronica's First Fish

The highlight of the day? I caught a couple of fish, mostly Blue Gill. But I had one that I really had to fight with to reel in. When I pulled it out of the water, my husband told me it was a Large Mouth Bass. He seemed jealous. I’m quite proud of myself.

My Large Mouth Bass

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My 5 year old daughter LOVES soccer. Seriously. She adores it. She didn’t always love it. In fact, last year her team had four games. And she played in one. The last one. All the other games she spent on the bench crying and saying she didn’t want to play. But the last game, she jumped right in and figured that since it didn’t kill her, she’d try it again sometime. Now she’s playing on a new team and can’t wait to get to the field and play. Just the sight of her shin guards sends her into a frantic flurry of exclamations. Plus they’re pink. So that’s a bonus.

Then there’s my son. He’s 3 and he’s a sports nut. He will stay up late (when we let him) to watch an Indians game with his dad or a football game with me. If he gets to chatting with a checkout clerk at the grocery he launches into the long list of sports that he is going to play. “Football, baseball, hockey, basketball, golf and soccer.” Soccer always makes the cut.

So I took it upon myself to sign him up for TOT soccer through a local amateur league here. As we were driving to his first game last week, my husband said to me, “You know he’s going to be one of those kids who runs off the field screaming and crying, right?” I chuckled and desperately hoped it wasn’t true.

In truth, I assumed he would be just like his sister. He would participate in the first 30 minute practice session (where all the kids line up and the coach tells them what to do and the parents walk right next to their kid(s) helping them every step of the way). Then, he would cry during the game and sit on the bench. But, just like his sister, he would get into it the swing of things by the last game and enjoy it immensely.

Well, I’m happy to say that he wasn’t one of the kids who ran off the field screaming and crying. He just never went ON the field because he was screaming and crying. He literally sat in my lap the whole hour and did his best to watch ignore the other kids playing. I heard myself say “We’ll try again next week Buddy,” but I knew deep down he wouldn’t dig it.

Boy was I right. This morning, he cried when I put his shin guards on him. I had a deep sense of foreboding right then and there. As soon as we got out of the car, he dashed into the grass and asked for his soccer ball. I felt hope. I know better.

We watched his sister’s game first (she scored her first goals of the season – way to go V!) and then we headed to his field. The dialogue went something like this:

Me: You ready to play soccer?

I: No.

Me: Why not?

I: I need to take a rest.

Me: You need to take a nap?

I: No. I need to take a rest at the table.

Me: What table?

I: Over there (pointing to the concession stand. Of course).

Me: You can get a snack after the game Pal.

I: I need a donut.

Me: After the game. I want to see you play.

I: I don’t want to play.

Me: Why not?

I: I’m scared.

Me: (Suddenly becoming concerned) What are you scared of?

I: Soccer.

Me: Why are you scared of soccer?

I: I need a donut.

Me: (Sighs)

At one point, my son started to dig into my husband’s pocket asking for money (figures). My husband literally tried to bribe my son with cold hard cash (a penny and nickel no less) to play soccer. I said “You trying to pay him to play? Good luck with that.”

The boy refused. Long story short, we went home. I won’t be one of those parents who scream “GET ON THE FIELD. YOU’LL HAVE FUN!!!” (Mainly because I’ve tried that and it doesn’t work with my kids.) I’ve also considered the whole “You’re-teaching-your-kid-how-to-quit” fiasco. But it’s not like he BEGGED me to play soccer and now he wants to quit. I’m the one who signed him up. He’s 3. He’ll be fine. I have kissed my $20 goodbye on this one and next week I’m not even going to dress him for a game. (I will however, have his guards and shirt in my backpack. You know, just in case.)

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Recently, I got connected with someone I follow on Twitter by phone. Her name is Lisa and while we were chatting about business, we found that we have a lot in common on a personal level. Lisa lives in the Chicago area, but she said that she was going to be in Cleveland for an event. She also said that Elizabeth from Table4Five would be coming as well.

Here is something you have to understand. In the grand scheme of things, I’m “new” to the blogging community. My postitive blog has been online for almost 2 1/2 years now and I’ve tried so many avenues in the blogging world it’s pretty crazy. One of the very first Mom Blogs I started reading regularly was Table4Five. So I jumped at the chance to meet these ladies and I found myself sitting at a table with Elizabeth and Lisa last evening. Some others included A Cowboy’s Wife, BusyMom, Jodi from MomsFavoriteStuff and Young Mommy.

When I told my boss about meeting up with these ladies, he asked if I was starstruck. I told him I wasn’t. Not because they aren’t amazing women who do seriously awesome stuff in the same 24 hours I’m given everyday. I was completely at ease with everyone last night. It seems like we’ve all been “friends” for a long time. And yes, many of them look exactly like their avatars (cartoons excluded of course).

What did we talk about? Mommyhood and Blogging. What else?  I really enjoyed hanging out with these ladies last night. I found myself very much at home at a table of women who share a passion for blogging and meeting others in the blogging space. And I can’t wait to see many of them again at BlogHer this summer.

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I love coffee. I know a lot of people say they love coffee, but I really, really love coffee. It is truly the first thing on my mind in the mornings. So yesterday morning, I got a nasty (and really quite saddening) shock.

The alarms started buzzing at 5 am. My husband had to get to the airport so we were all up and on the go pretty early. I stumbled into the kitchen where my beloved coffee maker sits on the counter loaded and ready to go. I pushed the button to get it going and took the dog outside. When I came back in, the coffee maker was just sitting there. No dripping, no sounds as the water started to heat…. nothing. I tried unplugging it and plugging it back in. I tried shimmying the cord (hey, sometimes that works). I tried everything but still nothing.

My beloved coffee maker was dead.

You have to understand, this was not just any coffee maker. This was my very first one I ever owned personally.

My mom bought me this coffee pot the summer before my sophomore  year of college. The first one I ever owned. It cost $10 and it lasted just shy of 10 years. Talk about getting your money’s worth out of it. This coffee pot was my decaf pot during both of my pregnancies so my husband could still have regular coffee. This became our back up when we got a new one for a wedding gift (which incidentally, stopped working after 9 months – some blame the older pot for sabotaging the new one but I don’t buy it) and it was promoted our primary pot again.

It was there for me through all-nighters in college and with the kids when they were babies. It was there for dessert coffee while having a celebratory dinner with friends. It was there the first morning we woke up in our new house (in fact, it was the first thing I unpacked- yes, I may have a problem). It’s been there for morning coffee when I’m still trying to pry my eyes open and decaf evenings when we just wanted to chill in the house.

Yesterday I was a bit sad. I hated tweeting out the horrible news knowing that  many would gasp in sympathy. So last night after visiting with a non-appliance (aka human) friend, I stopped at the store and bought a new machine.

Sure, it’s pretty. It has lots of gadgets and gizmos (like a delayed brew so you can stumble directly out of bed and have coffee ready). It’s clean. It’s new. But it’s not the same. There’s nothing like your first when it comes to coffee. But I think we will learn to like each other. This morning it had my coffee ready at 6 am before I even got out of bed a few minutes later. Yes, I think this could be the start of something beautiful.

But I will always miss the first one I had. I never named it or anything – I’m not that weird. Sturdy, reliable (until yesterday morning anyway), and unassuming, it was a great friend. But goodbye little coffee pot. I’ll never forget you…

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This past weekend I’ve been hanging out at a conference for one of my husband’s side projects and this means the kids and I have had a lot of time on our hands. This of course has involved the hotel pool.

Now here’s the thing to know about this. I have not OWNED a swimsuit in probably 8 years (I’m 28 in case you’re curious). It’s been partly because I’m not a beach/pool kind of girl and also partly because I didn’t like seeing myself in swimsuits. But I knew that with how busy my husband was going to be this weekend, the kids would go crazy if they couldn’t go to the pool. And since they’re still little I knew I’d be in there with them. So off I went to the store to buy a swimsuit and I’ve spent several hours in the pool with the kids.

I’ve felt like a kid all weekend. I’ve always enjoyed getting away and hanging out in a hotel. It feels like an adventure. And I admit it, I’ve really loved the pool. Maybe I’m a beach/pool kind of girl after all.

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Yes, I’m going to write a post about my shower curtain. Why? Because it made me realize that I have a pretty set mentality when it comes to buying things for myself.

A few months ago, my mom came up to visit me for my daughter’s 5th birthday. I needed a new shower curtain and was planning on going out and buying one. But I came down with the flu and I was completely wiped out. So my mom went out and got one for me.

I guess I need to give you some background on this. Usually when I buy a shower curtain, I go to the Dollar Store or another discount store and buy the cheap plastic one. I always end up needing to throw it away after a few months, but for those few months, I feel slightly “ok” in that my family has a clean shower curtain. But my mom did something totally unexpected. She bought a really nice machine washable shower curtain for me.

Now, here is where this small incident becomes a blog post. My first reaction was “Why did you spend so much money on this? We go through shower curtains on a regular basis. Why did you get such a nice one?” Then I read the packaging. I read about how it’s moisture and mildew resistant. I read that it’s machine washable. And a light bulb went off inside of me. Duh. I’m buying cheap because I have a cheap mentality.

It wasn’t that long ago that my husband and I were living paycheck to paycheck and wondering every month if we would make it to the end. There was one point where I asked my husband to ask his commanding officer for a food voucher to the commissary grocery so we would be sure to eat that month (he was in the army at the time and we were living on the base). It pushed me to live extremely frugally. How frugal? We had exactly $70 a month for groceries. A month. That’s it. Not to mention the bills and other responsibilities we had. Entertainment? Forget it. Entertainment became watching our very young daughter sing and dance for us and laughing our heads off. Her first Christmas involved us spending $9 at the local dollar store. Of course, she didn’t care. She was a little over a year old and loved every item. Almost her entire wardrobe was bought at garage sales, were hand-me-downs, or gifts from family and friends.

But something in that course of time changed me. I became a knock off brand hunter. Everything was generic that we owned. Brand name shampoo? Too extravagant. Generic mac and cheese became a staple. I stretched every dollar and stressed over unexpected bills. We got checks from WIC and a big splurge was a pizza for $12. That didn’t happen very often.

But when I went back to work and we started getting a little more comfortable, I carried that mentality with me. I still didn’t buy lots of brand name items but I can remember the first time I went to the grocery and didn’t have to take a calculator. It was a sense of freedom. But this frugal mentality turned into a “I don’t deserve nice stuff” kind of thing. Isn’t that sad? This single shower curtain taught me that. How bizarre.

Now, I’m not saying that I’m going to go nuts with the money we have. While we are definitely more comfortable, we’re not exactly living in the lap of luxury. But when it comes to things for my family, I have to get into the mindset that I (and we) deserve to have nice things. Not top of the line or state of the art, but nice. Things that will last. I still love a long day in the thrift store hunting for funky clothes and dollar stores are still a treasure trove for me. I’m still fairly frugal too. But when it comes to buying things for my family, I’ve decided that we all deserve nice things. Things that will last and things that we’ll be proud to have. Now how’s that for a life lesson?

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